I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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