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I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
