I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
