Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
