And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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