Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I think I just sharted jello shots
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