There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
