butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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