I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
babies were throwing up all over the place
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
