D3 body, D1 cock
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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