I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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