He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
