The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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