so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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