I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
