Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Randomize
