How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
