Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
