you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
