Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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