you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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