I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
