marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
