you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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