I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
