i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm just crazy horny about you
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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