I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
