I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
