Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
