She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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