I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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