I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
