So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
