i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
