I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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