Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
