I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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