It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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