You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
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