i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
