is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
