a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
