So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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