hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I have fence marks all over my body
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
