11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
honey bunches of taint.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
