You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
