I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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