Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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