new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
