Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
only if we run a train.
done.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
