it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
