I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
