How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
