.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
